Gender matters. In our culture, men tend to be touch-deprived and they can also be discouraged from understanding their inner lives, including emotional pain. (Brush it off? Act like a man)
When there is an emotional barrier in relating authentically and deeply with partners, children and friends old and new — psychic numbing and externalizing emotions can manifest in various sequelae. Without awareness, one is prone to emotional flooding and feelings of being overwhelmed. Sometimes men stuff their feelings, withdraw and shut down —depression, anxiety, obsessions, compulsions, excessive anger, great inner suffering or numbness show up.
Men and Porn: Turning to outside stimulation — which can be an effective solution for psychic pain, can be better understood. Turning towards porn is one. At times men turn to sex because it is a place where they can drop their emotional armor and attempt to feel fully seen, accepted and loved. Men turn towards porn without the pressures of norms and roles.
Generally speaking, the sensual pleasure of sex can lead men to turn to sex to feel emotional vulnerability and relational connection in a safe context.
We will have important conversations about how these dynamics and others play out in your life. Insight and in-situ management of feelings within the therapy hour create potential for personal growth.